


To Forgive or To Forget

by madisonsharon



Category: Supernatural
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 4,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22117675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/madisonsharon/pseuds/madisonsharon
Summary: Bella and Sam have been in a relationship for over a year. Bella has to work late one night, and comes home to something life-changing. How will Bella go about dealing with Sam and her unborn child?
Relationships: Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester, Sam Winchester/Original Female Character(s), Sam Winchester/Reader
Kudos: 2





	1. Chapter One: Today Will Be Different

Sam and I have been together for over a year. Today is actually our 1 year and 1 month anniversary. It's been a great 13 months of my life.

We met when I was hunting a demon in Chicago and it got ugly. Luckily, him and his brother, Dean, were there to save my life. We then went off to a bar and immediately hit it off.

I love Dean, but as a brother. I love Sam, and that's it. I love him and I would die for him. I'd sell my soul to the devil if it meant I'd get to spend a second more with him.

Call me cheesy, but I think he's the one.

He's told me he'd give up hunting if it meant getting married or having kids. Unlike Dean, he could do without hunting. Dean, he'd probably still hunt, or repeat what happened with Lisa and Ben.

But, that's another story for another time.

I wake to the sound of my alarm clock. Another useless day of a useless job. I have a job in a local bar, just for a little extra money. Can't hurt, can it?

"Bella?" I hear the sound of Sam's husky morning voice.

"Yeah?" I rub my eyes and push myself up in the bed with my elbows. Who the hell decided it was okay to make people wake up at five in the morning?

"You need to get up and get a shower."

"Are you saying I smell?" I say sarcastically. Now that I think of it, I say pretty much everything sarcastically.

"No, babe. I'm just saying that you shouldn't be late for work, that's all." Sam says watching me get up and head for the bathroom. I turn around and face him, and flash him a quick smile before I close the door behind me.

"Oh yeah! The boss said I gotta stay behind and work late tonight, don't wait up." I say as I crack open the door, making sure he hears what I say.

"Okay, babe." I hear him say. I am so freaking lucky.

After my shower, I slide on a pair of my favorite ripped jeans and band t-shirt and head out of the bathroom.

"Mornin' Bel." Dean says flashing me that smirk that I've seen him flash at every other girl he sees.

"Save it, dumbass." I roll my eyes. That's something else I always do too.

I glance over at Sam who is gladly handing me a plate of eggs and bacon.

"Thank you so much." I say looking up at him. He plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Sooooo," Dean says rolling his eyes at the both of us, "I've got to go meet up with Garth and figure out what the hell is going on in this town. Sam's going to stay here."

"I've gotta get to work." I say and attempted to shove another piece of bacon into my mouth, earning Sam a laugh.

"See ya!" Sam yells as I run out to my car and drive off to work.

"Hopefully, today will be different."


	2. Chapter Two: Unbelievable

After work, I slide myself into the car and sigh.

Why did everybody in the bar have to be so damn pushy? Guess it was just the alcohol.

I look at the clock on the stereo, it reads 11:30. I can't wait to get back to the hotel and see Sam. Dean wasn't there so, maybe Sam and I could get some alone time on our anniversary. That'd be great.

Lately, I haven't felt as good as I usually do. Maybe it was just all of the travelling? I have no idea. We don't exactly go to the hospital after somebody coughs or sneezes. We usually have more pressing things to deal with.

I find myself pulling into the parking lot of the hotel. The only thing on my mind was Sam. He's the only thing that's keeping me together right now.

As I pull out the room keys from my purse, I hear giggling from the room. I checked the room number again. Nope. This is our room. I don't remember Sam or Dean saying that the needed to interview a woman.

I pushed the key in the lock and opened the door to find what I had least expected. Sam and some other girl laying in our bed. Doing the dirty.

"Sam?" I say as he turns his head to look at me.

"Bella! I promise it's not what it looks like." Sam says as he changes his facial expression to fear. The one facial expression that I had only seen very few times.

"Who is that?" I hear the woman say from underneath Sam's muscular body.

"Nobody. Just leave." Sam says putting his clothes on.

"Nobody? Now I'm nobody to you?" My voice starts to crack. So does my heart. The man that I have loved dearly for over a year has gone behind my back as had sex with another girl. My whole life just falls out of my hands.

I turn around a run out of the door with all of my bags and all of my belongings.

"Bella! Wait, please! I can explain!" I hear him yell. Nothing will ever be able to heal these scars.

"Lose my number, Sam. I never wanna speak, look at, or hear from you EVER again. You hear me?" I say to him as he catches up to me. I continue to run, but he doesn't.

What makes me the saddest is that it was our anniversary. It was supposed to be special. He wasn't supposed to cheat on me.

Only time can heal these scars. Or maybe not.


	3. Chapter Three: Not So Alone

It's been a week since I last saw Sam. I honestly don't think I will ever want to see him again.

Just as I get ready to get up out of bed, I feel last night's dinner turn in my stomach as I then rush to get to the bathroom. I find myself puking my guts out for the fourth time this week.

Could I be pregnant? No, that's impossible. It has to be Sam's. I don't want him in my life again after what he did to me. I don't think I can let that happen.

I take a nice, hot shower and get dressed. I stop myself in front of my mirror, taking a deep breath. How was I supposed to go about possibly raising a child on my own?

I splash my face with some cold water and grip the sink. This is what my life has come to, huh? Just a big ball of impecable, unavoidable trouble. Could I even raise a child on my own? No. I'm a hunter. A child does not belong in a world full of monsters.

"Chill out, Bella. You might not even be pregnant." I try to calm myself down, but my palms are sweating and shaking like crazy.

I grab the keys to my car and head to the nearest convienience store. How convenient?

I run over to the femine hygeine section and quickly grab what I need and head to the checkout line. Which is actually really short for a Monday afternoon.

"How're you doing today, miss?" The cashier asks me. I just smile and say, "I'm fine."

She rings me up and hands me my receipt.

"I hope you get the answer you hope for." She says with a comforting smile as she has me my grocery bag. I smile and nod and go on my merry way back to my trashy apartment.

I'm pretty sure I broke just about every speed limit to get home, but that's okay. I guess.

I place the keys on the table and head to the bathroom.

"Just pee on a stick, huh?" I subconcieously laugh at myself. Even in troublesome times, I can't even be serious.

After about five minuets of weirily waiting, I can hardly bring myself to look at the life-changing stick.

I look down in the sink to see something worse than a house full of demons;

two pink lines.

Maybe I'm not so alone after all.


	4. Chapter Four: Realization

How could two pink lines change my whole entire world? I contemplate what I should do first. Should I call Dean and ask to meet somewhere without Sam and tell him? Should I just call Sam and tell him? Or should I just show up at their doorstep and put all of this on them?

None of those choices seemed feasible. At least, not at the moment.

Before another thought is able to cross my mind, I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. My first reaction is to answer, but I realize it's Sam who is calling.

"I might as well face the truth now." I sigh to myself as I slide my fingers across the screen to answer.

"Bella?" I hear Sam's voice. The sweet, loving, caring voice that I fell in love with all that time ago. "Are you still there?"

"Y-yeah. I'm still here." I say as my whole body trembles and shakes. What was I supposed to say? 'Hey Sammy! Guess what? I'm pregnant!' No. That's not it. I have no friggin clue.

"I didn't think you'd actually answer." He says, which makes me realize he knew that I might've already moved on. I can't move on from him. Not this time.

"Sam. I need to meet up with you." My voice cracks this time. I cannot do this alone. This is too important.

"What? Are you okay? Is something wrong?" I hear that concern in Sam's voice that I used to always hear about anything I did. "Listen, I know that I cheated on you. I'm so sorry. You may think that I don't care about you but, I do. I would give the world to be with you. I would give myself over to Crowley if it meant you still living and breathing. Bella, I love you so damn much."

Those words made it easy for me to forgive him. He made a mistake. He is a human and humans are going to make mistakes. That's what God forgives us for, because we humans are not perfect.

"We need to talk, Sam. It's important." I say, on the verge of breaking down.

"Okay. Where are you? Dean and I have been looking up and down for you." He says.

"I need to talk to you. And only you." I say making sure I say it as clear as possible. I need to tell the father before anybody else. I didn't want Dean all up in my face about this. "I'm in Ohio. Mason, Ohio. Please, be here as soon as you can."

"I love you, Bel." It's been a while since you've heard somebody call you that. That's what Sam always calls you.

"I love you, too."

This is real. This is going to happen.


	5. Chapter Five: No Longer Lost

I hear the sound of the impala pull up in front of the hotel room, and the bright lights shining through the crappy curtains that cover the dirty windows.

The only thing on my mind was telling Sam that I'm carrying his unborn child.

With the sound of a closing car door, I jump up off of the bed and open the door to see Sam's face meeting my own.

It's been so long since I had last seen his brown locks dwindle in front of his eyes and around his face. His eyes are glossy and his facial features tell me that he's been on the road all day.

"Hey. I'm here." He says pulling me into a hug. A hug that I so desperately needed.

"I...umm.." Gosh darn. This was going to be a lot harder than in the movies.

"It's okay you don't need to be scared. You an tell me anything." His eyes meet with mine as a feeling of security and reassurance washes over me.

"Sam," I take a deep breath and try to stop the burning in my chest, "I'm pregnant." There. It's out. He knows.

"What?" He says to me. I don't know if he's happy, mad, or sad. All I see is a statue.

"Bella, do you know what this means?" Oh no. He's gonna break up with me isn't he? "I'm gonna be a dad!"

Well, I definitely was not expecting that so quickly. But, it's a hell of a lot better than the alternatives.

"I thought," you laugh at yourself, "I thought you were going to break up with me."

"Break up with you? No! That day you left for work, I was out shopping for a ring." He says looking me in the eyes. He always looks me in the eyes when he is being serious.

"Why would you buy a ring? We're hunters." I say, internally asking myself so many controversial questions.

"We were hunters, not anymore." He says, glancing down at my stomach. "I was going to ask you to marry me."

Before he gives me a chance to respond, he's on one knee holding a black velvet box.

"What are you doing?" I say looking down at him, covering my mouth with my hands in shock.

"What I should've done a long time ago." He smiles, "Bella, will you marry me?"

Deep breaths, I think to myself. I never would have thought that I would be asked that question. Not only because I'm a hunter, but because Dean would always bring Sam back into the hunting world.

"Yes, of course." I laugh as he picks me up bridal style and twirls around in circles.

Suddenly, as if on cue, I don't feel lost anymore.


	6. Chapter Six: The First Letter

Dear Baby,

This week I told your daddy that I was pregnant with you. He was so happy, you should have seen it.

As a hunter, (which I will explain to you later in life), I did imagine having kids but I knew that would never happen. It's funny how the things you'd least expect to happen actually happen, huh?

I'd always imagined having a girl that would look just like me. But, if you do turn out to be a boy, I will still love you so much.

Today, I went out to the grocery to get some food. Lucky for you, Uncle Dean is really overprotective already, he took me to the grocery. I wouldn't have minded, but he kept asking if I was okay the whole time, which was quite annoying. He already loves you so much and I haven't even been to a single doctors appointment yet.

Sorry, got a little off topic! Anyway, I went back to the book section and was trying to find another lore book for your daddy. As I was looking, I saw a journal and thought, Hey! Wouldn't it be totally cool if I wrote to the baby? So, of course, I bought it. I mean, otherwise, you wouldn't be reading right now.

After a bunch of 'are you okay?' questions, Dean and I finally returned home. Well, what we call our home. Our home was once the Men of Letters' bunker. Luckily, it's been really, REALLY amazing for keeping us off the grid. Which trust me, is a wonderful ting being a hunter.

Hopefully after reading this, you don't ask me if you can be a hunter. The answer is no, so don't ask. It's a dangerous life, and I don't want you involved like I was. Being a hunter is something that takes away from your entire life, it's a lifestyle.

Take your dad for example. He's spent his whole entire life trying to run from the family buisiness. He was born into the hunter life, which is exactly what he and I don't want for you.

And please, when you get older, don't talk back to us or be anything but respectful and kind and courageous. We just want what's best for you. In the end, we love you now, and we will love you forever.

Love,

Mom <3


	7. Chapter Seven: Heartbeat

Dear Baby,

I haven't wrote in two months, Sam and Dean have just got back from a long hunt, whilst I cook them dinner.

Today has actually been a good day. No hunts, no work, just peace and quiet. Which don't get me wrong but, the lousy jokes that Dean comes up with are very amusing. You'll probably understand that when you read this.

I also had my first ultrasound! I'm actually 13 weeks pregnant right now. It's really strange to think I have a human literally growing inside of me.

Life tip: do NOT get pregnant until you get married. If Sam or Dean will even let you, that is. I wonder if you can hear me or what's going on out here? Guess that's a mystery that I won't be able to solve.

I got to hear your precious heartbeat and look at your growing face. However, you were turned away, so they couldn't tell me if you are a girl or boy. Just at 13 weeks, you're already causing issues. I'm kidding, we'll find out next time. As long as you cooperate with us.

I honestly can't wait to see you! I know that Sammy and Uncle Dean will be so excited to see you. They already love you so dearly even if they haven't seen a picture. But, tonight that's gonna change.

Tonight I'm gonna let them see the ultrasound pictures. You're so cute already! (And, again, if you turn out to be a boy, then handsome.)

Just please don't come too soon. Mommy doesn't think she can handle such a great loss of something so innocent.

Love,

Mommy <3


	8. Chapter Eight: Promise Me

Dear Baby Girl,

Today we went shopping. I know. Crazy, right? The Winchesters NEVER go shopping! Well, you're in luck because the only reason they came was because of you. Even though you're not born yet, they love you so much. Funny how things turn out. Life is all about these occurrences. You've just gotta push through it and live every day to the fullest, because one day when you're old, hopefully WAY older, you'll die and go on to heaven.

We found out last week that you are going to be...A GIRL! Sorry if you're disappointed, but as I said a minuet ago, life doesn't turn out like you thought it would. But, I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I hope that one day you'll follow your dreams.

You don't need to be like your daddy, and be a hunter and live the life of tragedy. I hope that you have a normal, apple pie life and have a husband one day and kids and are genuinely happy. Please, don't let anybody break your heart. It's gonna take 9 months to form your heart, don't let somebody break in 15 seconds.

I think I'm gonna name you Maddy Jo. In honor of one of our lost friends. She was a great person, I wish you could've met her. Sam wanted to name you Mary, but he and I decided that we don't want to make you feel like you have to live up to that.

Not that Mary was a bad person or anything, but they way she died and her life...we don't want that for you. We want you to live a long, happy life and grow old with the person you love with your grand kids running around the house.

Promise me one thing, okay?

Promise me that you'll always be kind, courageous, and brave.

Love,

Mom <3


	9. Chapter Nine: The Longest Day

As my hand rests on my expanding stomach, I roll my eyes at the fact that my clock says that it's nearly three in the morning. Besides that, I also crave pickles with ice cream. You'd think after almost seven months of being pregnant that I would get used to these cravings, but I haven't. Especially, Sam.

I honesty kinda feel sorry for him. He really hasn't been sleeping a lot. It's all because of me. I guess I can't control what's happening to me or my body.

"Babe, could you please get me some ice cream?" I nudge Sam, who is quietly snoring beside of me. He squints his eyes and opens them.

"You want pickles with that too?" He laughs. I nod making him laugh again. Gosh, how in the world did I ever get so lucky?

A few agonizing minuets later, Sam walks into the bedroom that you two share, with a jar of pickles and a carton of ice cream in hand. His hands were literally moose hands, which made you giggle at how much he could carry.

"Why are you giggling?" He says handing me the food that I have been anticipating for a few minuets.

"Because, your moose hands could carry all this stuff." You laugh just about in between each word.

"What's wrong with having moose hands, as you call them?" He smiles, slightly looking offended. But in a fun, cute way.

"Babe, I love you and your giant moose hands." I say giving him a kiss on his cheek.

"That's why I'm hopelessly in love with you." He smiles into my hair.

Soon after, we both drifted off to sleep.

Suddenly, a sharp pain hits me in my lower abdomin, waking both me and Sam.

"Are you okay?" Sam asks me, sitting up in the bed to turn the lamp on.

"I don't k- AHHHHHHH!" I scream at he top of my lungs in pain, grabbing my stomach.

"DEAN! DUDE, WAKE UP!" Sam gets up and yells or Dean to start the car. Everything seemed to happen so fast, and I couldn't keep track of time or anything at all.

Pain. Pain was all I could think about the entire 30 minuet drive to the hospital.

"We're almost there, just keep breathing." Sam says, breathing in and out with me.

After another 10 minuet wait in the emergency room, the nurses put me in a wheelchair and storm me into the labor and delivery section of the hospital.

I knew, this was going to be the longest day of my life...


	10. Chapter Ten: The Best Day

After fifteen agonizing hours of pain, I was able (with the help of Sam being by my side the entire time) to deliver little Maddy Jo Winchester.

"Here she is." The nurse says to me as she hands me Maddy. She has brown hair just like her daddy and the same facial features of him too. You could definitely tell she was her daddy's daughter.

"She's-she's absolutely beauiful." Sam says with glistening tears in his eyes. "Just like her wonderful mother."

"She looks just like you, Sammy." I say gently, and carefully handing her over to Sam.

"It's crazy how much you can love something that you never even seen until now."

"I know." I say as I hear Dean enter the room.

"Hey, can I come in?" Dean asks with a polite knock on the door.

"Of course, Uncle Dean." I reply with a slight smirk. Dean laughs at me, and he walks over towards Sam to see a little baby girl.

"Wow." He says looking right into Maddy's eyes, "she looks just like Sam."

"That's exactly what I said!" I laugh. I can't believe that I came this far since what had happened. But in a way, I'm glad it did happen. We might not even be here if that hadn't of happened at all.

"I'm an uncle now. This-this is definitely something I've gotta get used to, huh?" Dean smiles at Maddy with his protective eyes.

We all laugh at how Dean is so careful with her; sort of like she's a hundred-million dollar glass vase. But, I'm glad that he's happy he's an uncle. I know he'll be a damn good one, too.

I thought that today was the longest day of my life. I was absolutely wrong. Today has been the best day of my life. And I wouldn't change it for the world.


	11. Chapter Eleven: If It Weren't For You

Dear Maddy Jo,

I can't believe it's been two weeks since you were born. You look IDENTICAL to your daddy. But you came out with a full head of hair and weighed right at 9 pounds even and were 10 inches long.

I won't tell you exactly what happened with your father and I until you're older, but just know that we wouldn't have changed it for the world.

If we hadn't of had you, we wouldn't have gotten married, or even gotten back together for that matter. We wouldn't be in each others' lives if it weren't for you. And we are so glad that you came into our lives and filled our hearts with as much love, joy, and compassion as you have.

Speaking of your mommy and daddy, we're getting married next week! And YOU get to be the flower girl. Your Uncle Dean is gonna be daddy's best man and Castiel's gonna be the ring boy. I can't wait to see us all walk down that isle.

Momma's gotta go now, but I love you!

Love,

Mommy <3


	12. Chapter Twelve: The Big Day

My hands are sweating like nothing I've ever felt. I still can't believe that I'm getting married today. As a hunter, I never thought that today could ever even happen, but here I am. Wearing a long, lacy, white gown waiting to be walked down the isle by Bobby.

"Are you nervous?" Bobby asks me as he tightens his tie.

"Of course. I just never thought this could happen for me, y'know?" I smile and grasp onto the bouquet of red roses.

"Yeah, I get it." he gives me a sympathetic smile, "I think Sam feels the same way." All I can do is think about Sam and how nervous I am. I'm not nervous about getting married, I love Sam. I'm nervous about walking down the isle and repeating what happened with Mary. I know that's a horrible thing to even think, but I can't help but think it.

"Is there something that you're not telling me?" Of course there was. But, what would you say?

"I'm just scared of repeating history." I reply looking down at the roses. I keep breathing. Just like Sam told me while I was giving birth to Maddy.

"What do you mean, 'history'?" He asks me, walking closer to me with a concerned demeanor.

"I meant, Mary." I sigh, "I meant what happened with Mary. I-I just don't want to die and leave Sam all alone to take care of Maddy because I know that if something like that were to happen to him again, he might not ever be okay again." Hot tears begin to stream down my face.

"Oh, Y/N! You have nothing to be cared of because Sam, Dean, Castiel, and myself would never allow that to happen." Hearing him say that was just what I needed; confirmation. I just needed reassurance.

"I know. Thanks, Bobby." I pull him into a tight hug and we stay there for a couple of minuets. We didn't talk, we just hugged.

"Now, go fix your makeup and let's walk down that isle!" Bobby exclaims, making me smile immediately. I'm ready to do this.

I wrap my arm around Bobby's and we begin to walk down the isle. The crowd was small; we only invited immediate family and a couple of close hunters who could make it to the ceremony. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was Sam.

We had finally reached the alter and Bobby kissed my cheek and handed me over to Sam.

"You look beautiful." Sam says holding my hands like his life depends on it. The preacher begins to say our vows and we repeat them.

"I do." I say looking right into Sam's eyes.

"I do." Sam says looking down at our daughter and then into my eyes. Sam then pulls me into a deep, long, passionate kiss that lasts for at least four minuets.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife!" The preacher says as he closes his Bible and Dean sighs in the background whilst covering Maddy's eyes while we kissed, making Sam and I laugh.

"I love you so much." Sam says as he picks me up and carries me bridal style out of the church.

Where I am right now is great. I couldn't be happier with my life.

When I ask myself what I would've done if I hadn't have gotten pregnant, my answer is I don't know. Because honestly, I really don't know.

All I do know is that I'm so glad I decided to forgive Sam instead of forgetting Sam.


End file.
